Anything Else to be Declared, 'Uncivilized'
(Disassociated Press) 4 June 2010 – The 2010 version of the Untouchabohs begin their playoff run Saturday at the Lou Karpouzie fields against playoff tested teams of yesteryear. Fighting without a plethora of playmakers, the talent level will be high despite a lack of depth. The orange crush defense will have a different look but will still break the heart of the opponents like a child breaking a cherished family heirloom.
After a battle of the citrus fruits two weeks ago as the Orange (Team #124, Untouchabohs, 6-1-1) crushed the Lime (Team #119, Catching Touchdowns and Making Babies, 1-7) on Patterson Field #4 the ‘Bohs will be taking on a nemesis in Andy Beal’s team in the sudden death playoff game. It will be a rekindling of rivalry as TD’s in your face (Team #88, Navy, 6-2) was named Gender Plays are For Girls in the 2009-Fall season and it took a Pick-6 by Chris ‘Full’ Nelson to seal the game and the four point victory.
Intensity and conversions will be the key to the game, and any subsequent games, as this team knows how to play and the ‘Bohs are 0-1 against 6-2 teams wearing Navy blue this season. History is something to learn from and not repeat, so the forces of good shall accompany the intense Untouchabohs through battle on some of the better playing surfaces that the BSSC LFL has to offer. Despite the rising temperatures, NASA has assured ‘Bohs blogger Hughes that there are no solar flares on the horizon and therefore the wizardry that Tim ‘The Real Tim Shady’ Lambert will employ will be in full effect come gametime. Oh ye Gods.
The Untouchabohs have been buoyed by a plethora of depth, a paucity of penalties, and a ball-hawking defense that has caused so many turnovers that Paula Deen has been wearing jealousy like her apple turnovers wear heavy cream and butter. When you combine that with the methodical, defense saving, ODB offense, victories are earned. Despite some lulls in intensity this year the ‘Bohs always display a fighting determination and will to win that is unparalleled in BSSC, and especially LFL, lore.
The Untouchabohs, known throughout the league as an attractive team, will fight tooth and nail to the bitter end to allow the absent members of the 2010 squad to have the opportunity to chase the championship on Sunday, which will require two Saturday wins. The grit and guile of the Saturday squad chasing the championship will be remembered to be like the grit and guile of the Goonies chasing One-Eyed Willie’s treasure. Luckily for the ‘Bohs, there are no angry Italian mobsters in pursuit, though there will be stiff competition from the opponents.
Come out, bring some refreshments, and setup your chair at the LK fields this Saturday, as your glorious Untouchabohs extend their season from Playoffs Day 1 into Day 2, and make a run for the LFL Cup, also known as a pitcher of ice-cold Miller Lite.
Potpourri:
• Untouchabohs’ QBs have a 40:2 TD to Int ratio this season;
• Tim ‘Warlock’ Lambert has won the ‘toss’ 5/8 times;
• Of the 3 ‘toss’ losses, he has secured both the ball and the direction twice;
• Jonny Layne’s streak of getting dirty ended this season after a miraculous 17-game streak spanning 3 seasons;
• The Untouchabohs Orange Crush Defense (OCD) pitched a shutout this season, the second in three years;
• OCD has prevented scoring on 56% of opponents’ drives this regular season, but only forced 1 turnover in their lone loss;
• The Untouchabohs are going to win two games on Saturday.
Friday, June 4, 2010
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