Warlock Controls Universe - Secures Win During Loss

"I don't know how I keep doing it?!" Warlock replies...

23 October 2010 (Disassociated Press) - The Untouchabohs (Team #31, Purple, 5-2) were clobbered today by the approximate score of a LOT to LESS on Patterson High School Field #4 today by Fantasy Football (Team #19, Red, 6-1).

How does Tim 'Warlock' Lambert control games such as this - even the dark lord Satan replied 'No Comment.' during an interview with the unofficial blogger of the BSSC's TGL.  Lambert, sitting at work in Hunt Valley, sent his wishes and skills with Adrian 'Iggy' Hughes to handle the coin toss prior to the clash of teams - the unbeaten Team #19, and the two-loss Team #31 Untouchabohs.  Dark magic was about to happen.

Jason Gill, captain of FF, won the coin toss and - for reasons only known to the Warlock - elected to take the ball.  Such witchcraft allowed the Untouchabohs, the losers of the coin toss, to gain BOTH the ball AND the desired direction.  But the darkest of the black magic was yet to come...

With time ticking toward the start of the game, and the 'Bohs only having a TOTAL of five gentlemen and three ladies, the opponent only had one female present.  With repeated cries of 'she's on her way' originating from the red-clad group, the Warlock Lambert expired the referee's clock and a forfeit - this season, finally, in favor of the 'Bohs - was called, giving the Untouchabohs, known throughout the league as an attractive team, a much-needed victory!

In a fun-game that was basically a massacre of the 'Bohs' defense in action, the little blond girl ran circles around everybody on the field and essentially defined the entire offense of the Fantasy Football squad, who spent most of the day fantasizing about having a full complement of females play in that week's game!

One educational moment was gleamed from the day, though, as the Untouchabohs threw deep several times - with each of the passes falling incomplete and one of them turning from a touchdown into an interception.  'Bohs' QBs, well QB in the singular, threw two interceptions and had a third batted down by a perplexed defender.

Magically, the Untouchabohs were smoked today and somehow lost the coin toss, earned the ball, obtained the desired offensive direction, and secured a win during a loss.  All of which seems tainted by the wonderful control of Coach Tim 'Mad Dog' Lambert.

Special Thanks to those that made it to the game.  Without you we would not be having the season that we're having - and the opportunity to earn free football (playoffs).  Welcome to the team you not-so-newbies and we hope you'll keep playing with us for a few seasons to come!

Next up for the Untouchabohs is Kristen Basore's Trouser Snakes (Team #6, Maroon, 4-3) at LK Field #1.  This team is seeking the elusive 5th win to give them the opportunity to make it to the playoffs, while the 'Bohs are in a Win-and-In scenario!